Look at my beautiful, silky skin!
Isn't it healthy and soft?
        No, it's all covered in powders and creams;
        Your face would fall off if you coughed.

Look at my beautiful, sparkling smile!
Isn't it healthy and clean?
        No, all your teeth have been capped and rebuilt
        and your lipstick is more than a sheen.

Look at your ugly, off-colour eyes!
Aren't they unhealthy and queer?
        Yes, but they work, and they're honest and true,
        And they see through a desperate veneer.