The Slip-Up

        Susie walked into her brother Alfie's bedroom and found him trying to feed porridge to his slippers.
        "You silly boy," she said. "Slippers don't eat things!"
        "Yes they do," replied Alfie. "Grandma told me."
        "No they don't and you're getting porridge everywhere," said his sister. "I'm telling Mummy about this."
        "Perhaps they're just not hungry?" wondered Alfie, as Susie went downstairs as fast as she could without running.
        When their mother arrived, she was not very happy. "Alfie!" she exclaimed. "You're feeding porridge to your slippers - and with my best spoon!"
        "They don't seem to want to eat," said Alfie. "Do you think I should add more sugar?"
        "You'll do no such thing," said his mother, sternly. "The reason those slippers won't eat your porridge is because slippers don't eat anything at all!"
        "But they do!" protested Alfie. "Grandma told me!"
        "We'll see about that!" snapped his mother. She was very angry at the way Alfie had completely ruined them.
        "Are you going to throw those slippers away?" asked Susie. "I think you should, they're all crusty and horrible."
        "Yes, dear," said her mother. "But first, Alfie is going to telephone Grandma and she's going to tell him the truth. Hungry slippers indeed!" With that, she picked up Alfie, carried him downstairs, and rang his Grandma.
        Alfie had to talk to the old lady. As she spoke, his face grew redder and redder. When he finally hung up, his mother looked ever so smug. "Slippers don't eat breakfast, do they, Alfie?" she said.
        "No, Mummy," he replied. "It's shoes that do!". And before his mother could stop him, he ran off and tipped porridge all over Susie's new trainers.

So

Never tell small children that shoes have tongues.

Illustration by Roy Bartle
Image size: approx. 29K.