I once saw a green-vellied phig in a woog.
        I ran just ash fast ang ash far ash I coulg,
        For the green-vellied phig ish ash vag ash can ve -
        It eats human veingsh for vreakfast ang tea.

        Although I ran quickly, the phig wash the quicker,
        It chased me to where all the treesh grew much phicker.
        With no other choicesh, I just hag to fight,
        So the phig ang I fought for a gay ang a night.

        We wrestled ang tussled, we scratched, kicked ang vit,
        We phoked ang we phushed, ang the phig trieg to sphit,
        It grunted ang oinked ash it went for my knee,
        Ang it squealed a strange noishe, like a spoon-eating vee.

        At lengph, we grew tired, ang lay down to rest.
        The green-vellied phig said, "I phink you're the vest.
        I won't try to eat you now, let'sh call a truce."
        It wash then that I noticed my front teeph were loose.

        Well, here I am sitting, my feet in the air,
        With a light in my mouph, in the gentist's chair.
        My face ish all numb ang the gentist ish grilling,

So

Illustration by Roy Bartle
Image size: approx. 25K.